March 30, 2016.  Based on my usual and customary pattern of both thought and action, I see that it has been YEARS since I contributed to these musings.  How do you spell Procrastination   JPaulBear. That, by the way is my pen name (or keyboard as the case might be). So what has happened to open the gates of creative juices and get them flowing? Glad you asked.  This past Saturday I was intent on presenting a meditation class at one of the local detox/treatment centers.  I had been doing a short class of 30 minutes, 10 of which were an actual practice of silent meditation on Wednesday mornings.  Truthfully I wanted more time since the Wednesday sessions were short and mandatory thus not enough time to delve into the nitty gritty of meditation.  I offered to come on the weekend and spend more time. Totally voluntary to the “clients”.  Well I did and three women showed up after some prompting to a group on smoke break.  While my head spoke to me of presenting this wonderfully insightful class my gut told me to simply explain why I was there and then do a practice of meditation.  The ladies were quite new to the center and thus pretty foggy. Decided to do a “guided” meditation since I suspected that they would fall asleep. What popped into my head was a journey to the beach.  I liked the beach. I had been down to the beach in Tampa in February and planning on going back in April.  So lets go to the beach in our minds. And we did.

At home later in the day I mentioned my experience to my daughter and the idea behind the guided meditation ie the beach.  She thought it was a pretty good idea and asked if I had written it down. Which I had not.  So on Sunday I did and this is what came out:

The Beach

I stand in the parking lot overlooking the beach in the near distance

I am tired, my everyday world weighs heavy on my shoulders

There are too many of life’s events coming at me.  

The sky is grey and the distant water is grey and my life is grey.

There is a break in the clouds and a sun ray shines through.

It strikes the water and suddenly the water is crystal clear

I can see to the bottom with colors of coral and fish and sand

My curiosity is peaked, could this be real. I wonder

I look around and now notice a pathway leading down to the beach

I start walking toward the path and see that there are smooth planks for steps

There is a handrail and I now can hear the water softly splashing

I take my first step down, then another, then another and another

Each step down seems easier, I hold the handrail for balance

The muscles in my legs seem weak to begin with

Yet each step feels stronger, I now smell the water and it smells fresh

The sky is breaking apart the sun is bright and clear and warm

I feel desire to be at the water to feel the sand between my toes

The pathway comes to an end yet I can see where many footprints have been before me

I take off my shoes and step into the sand. Its warm and encloses my foot

The sky has become bright and there is a gentle warm wind blowing

I can see more and more of the water, clear endless.

I walk toward the water I see that the waves are seemingly endless

In the last 20 feet or so they break and then rush towards the beach

Water rushes toward me yet then stops and slowly falls back and then again

I walk closer to the edge of the water, there is a lip of beach

It is just high enough to sit on with my feet near the rushing water

I sit the water curls around my feet and is cool tingling refreshing

More waves rush in and fall away, rush in and fall away

The weariness and heavy weight of the world has fallen from my shoulders

I take a breath let it out another breath let it out a deeper breath and let it out

Where has the grey gone the weariness the heavy world weights

I don’t know but for now they are simply not there

I sit there for minutes relaxed serene water at my feet sun on my face

Then I notice a sound faint at first but growing louder

I notice small grey streaks coming toward me  Seagulls

Where there had been none now there were many and more coming

Some land at my feet some at my sides and they all start squawking

Louder and louder they are so insistent. I have some chips in my pocket

I toss them at the Seagulls and the squawking becomes louder

There were now even more of them and they start  fighting with each other

I felt fear what have I done what can I do now should I find more food for them

Then from what seemed out of nowhere a voice spoke to me

If you don’t feed them they will go away

I said but there are so many how is this possible

The voice said they are driven to find food and when there is no food here they go elsewhere

If you don’t feed them they will go away but you have to decide not to feed them

And though I was afraid I decided not to feed them.  

Within minutes they had mostly gone away squawking as they flew

Several stay moments longer looking at me as if to see had I changed my mind

When they saw that I had not, they also flew away.

The voice then said you know those Seagulls are a lot like our thoughts

Coming out of nowhere Always hunger and squawking at us for attention

So long as we choose to feed them they will stay with us chaotic and without purpose

Yet if we decide not to feed them they WILL go away.

And in their place will come a quietness a serenity of calm an understanding

I turned to see who this voice was but there was no one there only sand

I turn back to the waves with their endlessness the coolness on my feet

Minutes past perhaps hours I don’t really know nor care

Then I  notice the sun is sinking lower into the water and I watch

It touches the horizon as a big yellow ball and then within minutes has been cut in half

And a few minutes more  just a glimmer of light. It is time to go

I walk back across the beach to the pathway up the bluff  put my shoes on

The steps down which had felt so heavy now are light my muscles strong

I walk up them easily

When I reach the top and look out at the water it is different darker now

Yet I know that this too will pass

That tomorrow will come and the waves will march towards the beach

I sigh but then smile for I now know something important for my day to day living

My thoughts are like Seagulls and if I don’t feed them they will go away

And any time when the sky turns grey and my life seems grey I can go to the beach

Find a quiet spot close my eyes and be there